I worked for many years as a therapist and memory trainer, before spending almost 3 decades as a yoga tutor both in England and the beautiful island of Cyprus.  I feel very grateful and honoured to have met so many spiritually knowledgeable, helpful and true friends. This also includes the many yoga students who crossed my path.

Teaching ‘comprehensive yoga’ entailed Hatha (a physical yoga with various exercises and postures), Visualization, Pranayama (breathing exercises) aswell as lessons in Nutrition and Meditation. Infact, after coaching and learning about so many different meditations, I had never heard of the “Neti-Neti” approach, which eventually led me to the Gyan – a lasting experience of the Formless.

After approximately one year of attending Neti-Neti sessions and Oneness gatherings, with much thought, consideration and a little apprehension I finally took the right step and asked for the Gyan. I realised the time was right. On entering the Gyan Sanctuary, my first impression was one of unbelievable calm, with a certain stillness, inner peace and holiness. Seated on the floor, my concentration and gaze never left me. I was totally transfixed on the journey I was about to take.

Listening intently, I sensed the room was filling with a light mist approximately 2ft in height rising from the floor. This went away, but returned. Without effort I was still observing and feeling this quiet intense concentration. My gaze was still fixed on the face of the individual acting as a channel for the Gyan, when suddenly his facial expressions were beginning to change, from getting larger, looking older, wider, and there was an increasing body shape. At this point I remember changing my gaze, but my intensity returned. I saw a younger face, but still changing into what I had already seen – a larger moving form resembling that of a Buddha figure.

I felt very calm. There was a strong feeling of peace all around me. I did not want to let go of this experience. It was a very blissful feeling that I was reluctant to leave. The calm has stayed with me.

       – Brenda Sanderson, Hednesford, Staffordshire

Six days after our son was born, he had to be hospitalized. Having brought him in with a fever, the doctor advised us that he would have to be kept in. Extensive tests were to be carried out, including a lumbar puncture, which involves the drainage of fluid from the spine.

I wept because this was not how I wanted things to go. I did not want to see my new baby boy with blue bruises on his arms, caused by IV probing and poking. I certainly did not want the news that came a few hours later, that he most likely had a bacterial infection in the fluid surrounding his brain – in other words, Meningitis. Apparently, only one in a million babies contracts it. Sadly, my baby was one of them. He was to be hospitalised for at least 2 weeks. As to the outcome of the treatment, nobody could say.

Aside from crying and feeling numb, I knew I had to turn to God. I needed Him more than ever. But when I tried praying, I wasn’t sure how to pray. Do I pray, asking for our son to be magically restored to perfect health? But who am I to tell God what to do, I said to myself.

The paediatric Ward was full of families, wanting the same thing for their child. But just because the wish was not granted, it does not mean that God does not love them. He just has a different plan.

Not able to think straight, I simply prayed for the grace to accept whatever God willed, and to feel His love in the process.

This incident coincided with my reading the book, The Forty Rules of Love. I had the book in my bag and re-read some sections that I had already highlighted. They reminded me of God’s love and His presence. 

“Doesn’t God say, I am closer to you than your jugular vein? He is inside each and every one of us. That is why He never abandons us. How can He abandon Himself?”

We did not have family nearby. However, whilst they could not be physically with us, it was comforting to learn that God was very much there, with me. As I prayed to surrender to God’s plans, already chalked out for me, I also read:

“Some people make the mistake of confusing submission with weakness. It is anything but. Submission is not an inadequate or defective quality, but a form of peaceful acceptance of the terms of the universe, including the things we are currently unable to change or comprehend”.

In the light of submission, something miraculous happened when we saw the doctors again. They told us that they had made a mistake. Our son did not have a bacterial infection. It was, in fact, a viral infection causing the fever, which would go away on its own. Our 2-week hospital stay suddenly turned into a 2-night stay. It was surreal. I could not believe what I was hearing – the doctors made a mistake!

I was numb again, but this time it was because I was overwhelmed by God’s love and His grace. We were blessed that our diagnosis had changed, but what had me in awe was simply that feeling – the realization that He is always with me. That He is always carrying me through every phase of life, and that His love is always available to me in every situation.

“God’s love is an endless ocean, and human beings strive to get as much water as they can out of it. But at the end of the day, how much water we each get depends on the size of our cups. Some people have barrels, some buckets, while some others only have bowls”. 

So I prayed. I prayed for God to bless me to ever embrace as much of His love as I can, and not to place limits on it. 

The thing is I am a very weak human being. I felt broken when all of this was happening and I know I don’t have the strength to face challenges in life. And that is why I’m reminded to keep praying with the words, ‘Help me surrender, God. I know, through You, my weaknesses can turn into strength and Your love will always be enough to carry me’.

I want to thank my spiritual teachers, His Holiness Nirankari Babaji and now Her Holiness Pujya Mataji, for blessing me with this beautiful gift of realization. The following passage, also from the book, summarizes the role of the Guru in my life. 

“A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself/herself ; he/she will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the Light of God pass through them”.

Thank you for letting the Light of God pass through you, Babaji and Mataji, so that it could reach me.

Since the moment I experienced the Gyan (Enlightened Awareness), I feel the whole universe has been in my favour.  My Simran (prayer) is already complete. In the Bible, Jesus’s guidance on prayer is ‘Hallowed be Thy name’. Since my experience of the Gyan, wherever I go, wherever I am, I say ‘thank you’ for everything all the time.

This Gyan is everything. It lacks nothing; it needs nothing. You see Him. Sorry not him or her, but it! You are it! So it is good to pray and it’s important to appreciate the Gyan for this God is everywhere.

Prior to this, I used to project my thoughts outside. I thought of my Father in Heaven, and imagined Heaven to be far away in the sky. But after experiencing the Gyan, I look within myself, behind me, and all around me. It is everywhere. It is here and now. Everything we need, everything we want, everything we pray for is here and now. We just need to tune into it. It is all-pervading all things and manifests in all things. When we pray, let us think about ourself here now, with gratitude

There was once a caged pet in Africa.  As there was no way the animal could escape, it decided to play dead. The moment people thought the animal had died, they released it from the cage. Similarly, the moment I had the Gyan, I felt as though I died. There is no more of me. I am no longer walking, but walking is happening to me. I am no longer speaking, but words are being uttered. This body stands. I am completely free from all thoughts and doubts because of the realisation of the Formless.

Moses said in the Old Testament, ‘no one has lived and has seen God’. This is one of the most misunderstood statements. Moses was not talking about the dying of the body, but the relinquishing of one’s ego. Gyan is the moment when the ego dies, and you never die again. As long as the ego lives, there is suffering.

We are suffering from a different type of oppression, and the oppression which is not spoken about in the world. We seek liberation not just from a physical prison, but from everything that holds us down. What holds us down, are all the things that appear to be.

Once upon a time there was a man who wore a different mask every day. Each mask expressed a different emotional expression – sometimes joy, sometimes sorrow. Some masks conveyed fear and worry. The man was fascinated by the masks he wore. People reacted differently to the different masks he wore.

Then the yearning arose of wanting to fall in love and get married. When he saw a beautiful lady, whom he wished to marry, she ran away from him. He suddenly recognised that it was because of the mask he was wearing, which deterred her. He shouted aloud, ‘please stop, stop; this mask is not me!’. But it was too late – he had lost his chance, having become too engrossed in the masks, and losing sight of his real self.

Having learned his lesson, the man went to the river and leaned over to observe his reflection.  Seeing himself again after so many years, he gained an inner feeling of peace. Then he asked himself ‘am I joyful or am I the joy?’ He realised he was the joy behind all the masks he had once worn. The masks he had used were just aspects of the passing personality. This personality caused so much suffering to the man. It has always been so!  The personality – that separate sense of self, which we regard as our qualities and characteristics, is so often the trigger for problems in relationships and the world at large. Another word for it, is ego.

Sometimes calling it ego makes it less meaningful for us and abstract. But calling it personality allows us to identify it and recognise it. It is this personality which is stopping us enjoying joy, which is what prevents human beings from reaching harmonious oneness.

Our personality is shaped by the world – it is what we think about ourselves and what we believe others think of us. If we are able to drop these labels, step aside from ego and rise above the limitations of personality, we will experience the joy that is always within.

Having transcended these limitations, we can dance with the secret that remains, dance with the unnameable, dance with the formless and dance with that which we truly are. It is when we drop this ego in every shape and form, that the formless Nirankar prevails in life

                                                                                    Albert Winners, Birmingham