As a curious soul in search for silence, I have tried to observe the very moments in my life when noise prevails. I have reflected on experiences causing anger/annoyance versus those of happiness/tranquillity. I have noticed that being negative has almost always been the quickest, most automatic response to anything that disagrees with my way of life. However, the experience of positivity has almost always been a very subtle state of mind, comparable to the subtleness of breathing.  

It has been suggested that an adult inhales and exhales around 20 times a minute i.e. approximately 28,000 times in 24 hours. How is it that such a subtle, physiological process, so significant to every second of our life, goes unnoticed? Ironically, we only seem to notice our breathing when it is disrupted in some way – otherwise we remain unaware of its process. This silent nature is such that we even take our very existence for granted. Just so, to love someone is subtler than hating; to accept others is subtler than criticism; and to be at peace is subtler than being angry. 

As the essence of God (Nirankar) is so subtle, it is important that we go beyond what meets the eye in the pursuit of truth. When our mind connects the body to physical experience, such as sense perceptions, it severs the link to subtle internal experiences such as consciousness.  We get lost in the gross experience (perception), and disconnect from the subtle nature of the experiencer (the essence which is perceiving).

However, when the body relates itself to subtle, inner experiences, even our physical experiences become more and more meaningful. Such a connection between the internal and the external harmonises our world together, creating a broader and more mindful perspective.  

A few weeks ago, after attending Sangat (the Oneness Gathering), I was walking to my car with my grandfather. Suddenly out of the blue, an Asian man approached us and furiously began complaining about the cars that constantly block his driveway. He was so fed up. So much so that he was ready to leave the area for good, telling us he had put up with the situation for 20 years. My granddad looked at him, and with a warm smile and soft tone, said, “I can understand your frustration, but please don’t worry; everything is going to be alright”.

Normally, I would not have paid any great attention to such an incident, but on this occasion, what I witnessed was much deeper. I witnessed a man in need of kindness. I saw Nirankar (the Formless All-Pervading) giving a divine message through a Mahapursh (enlightened being or saint). Amazingly, the man felt better, responded with calmness and went on his way.

For me, this was no coincidence. It was just meant to be. These two souls, out of billions of people in the world, were meant to meet and exchange energies in this subtle moment. I was also meant to be there to witness it, and write the occurrence down so that it may be shared with others.

There is a deeper message in everything that comes to pass. If we could only look beyond the form, we would experience the Formless pulling us towards higher consciousness, providing moral choices and inspiring us to respond to situations with human values at the fore.  The Formless is always giving us lessons and blessings, like an internal compass or torch that lights the way.  

Those still searching for divinity or truth often under-estimate the subtler experiences that open up to the experience of Nirankar. There are two common routes. Some take the materialistic route, believing their peace and contentment to lie in greater wealth and the accumulation of belongings.  Others opt for religious observances, feeling they will gain contentment through worship and the ceremony that surrounds it. I have learned that both routes are a means to an end, but no goal. The materialistic eventually realise the never-ending list of wants and desires. The ceremonial worshippers, in their regular performances, forget to understand the meaning behind the rituals. Both forget that we are what we seek.

We are the question and the answer. As the great sufi mystic Rumi says, “what you seek is seeking you”. Rumi highlights that we are ultimately seeking something beyond our perceptions. Our task is not to seek love, contentment or happiness, but to pull down, one by one, those barriers that we have erected against it. Ultimately we are divine; we are the truth. If we seek with our hearts instead of our eyes, we will realise that happiness is a choice and not a result. His Holiness Nirankari Baba often reminded us not to build walls, because we only run the risk of losing ourselves within them. Every utterance Babaji made, was a subtle direction.  Through awareness and remembrance of these subtle experiences, we may become more conscious of the silent moments of peace, even in the midst of chaos.  

Life begins within emptiness, and yet it is in those full spaces of pure consciousness that life is reinforced within the soul.  The soul may be defined as the Formless within the form (i.e. our most subtle essence, within the gross material manifestation). The body gives rise to physicality, injecting sensation into every cell and pore and thereby creating the play of existence. When it is combined with the subtleness that is nothing and yet everything, it expands itself to experience life in its richest, purest form – Nirankar. 

By becoming aware and more attuned with our subtle experiences, we realize that we are not our thoughts, our emotions, our body, profession or nationality. We realize that we are beyond all forms and superficial labels. Our identities go far deeper than anything we have so far perceived. The truth that Nirankar is no-thing, yet permeates every-thing, baffles the mind.  There is no physical experience that can relate to what this means. Nirankar is much more than what the human being has identified with thus far.  Lost in a false reality, the human being stands adrift from what he really, most genuinely is. The mind, with all it’s conditioned responses, is the greatest contributor to the mirage that has been established. It requires someone who can operate beyond the mind, to free us from our false sense of separation. Such a person has been referred to as Satguru – that truth which leads from the darkness of ignorance, to the light of knowing.

Satguru inspires the most subtle, most simple awareness. It is here that everything begins. Once we have silenced the noise in our life (the ego) and given way to simple awareness, we truly begin to experience the hidden power of the universe. That is also when we begin our journey to knowing, believing and being the subtle reality of all that we are.

-Harishta Kaur, Huddersfield

I am a Human…

From desolated galaxies my Atoms came

For fractured stars, create my brain

Love and unity, are vitamins for the lobe

I’m a human like other humans, citizens of the globe

This life is magical like a wizard’s spell

My heart pumps passion through the highways of my shell

I have an imagination, tonight I captured Mars

I’m burning with light, maybe it’s the fractured stars

I am a Human…

Black, white, religion or race I am not a label

I am not this body, the body is unstable

From the molten lava to the clouds in the skies

Everything is temporary that I see with my eyes

I am not the heart and I am not the brain

Yet I am the sun and I am the rain

They are mere organs from which my soul can sing

I am nothing at all, yet I am in every thing

I am a Human…

My heartbeat and yours are like a poem that rhymes

Yet we’ve divided the world with imaginary lines

Ego thinks it’s high, don’t be slaves to the notion

There’s Oneness in all, like the waves of the ocean

My faith and intellect, they will always collide

But what I was seeking, was always inside

A human being is being human in my every quarter

Like snow I melted, and found I was water

I am a Human; a Human being

Beyond the confusions of illusions that I’ am seeing

I am not any label that I can find

I am not the heart, body or mind

I am Oneness a part of the whole

I am everything in Nothing, you can call me the soul

I am a human… I am a human…

                                              – Gurdip Roopra, Birmingham

Someone asked Jesus, ‘What is your God’s task like?’  He replied that it’s like a fisherman catching fish by throwing the net into the sea.  Many fish are caught, but only the ones that are ready to be eaten are chosen while the others that are too small are thrown back into the sea. 

How many times have people performed rituals or gone into the wilderness to live a life of solitude to find God?  How many times have different prayers been said, calling His name?  Each time this happens people are caught in God’s net, but, lacking in sincere devotion they are not ready and find themselves thrown back into the world.

Living a worldly life with only passing investment in devotional worship, people may well attain secular goals.  However, to attain God, changes must occur within a person, if they are to receive God’s grace.  One must have ‘God-like’ qualities.  When the process of making yogurt from milk is initiated, one needs at least one spoonful of actual yogurt to mix with the whole batch of prepared milk in order to arrive at the unadulterated yogurt.  In the same way, some God-like qualities are necessary in order to start the journey towards changing one’s thinking and behavior, enabling one to become one with God.

Lot of prayers and rituals occur at various places of worship to portray one’s devotion, but unfortunately that show of devotion outside is not getting translated into compassionate and kind-hearted thinking inside.  It amounts to the temple within being completely empty.  No matter how beautiful a poem is, it cannot be larger than the poet.  No matter how impressive a piece of art, it cannot be acclaimed to be greater than the artist.  No matter how beautifully we build and decorate our place of worship, it can never be more peaceful than the feelings of piety and goodwill within our hearts.  If people praise God and sing hymns with their lips, but harbor feelings of hatred, ill-will, and intolerance inside, that worship transmits an aura of negativity to anyone watching or listening.  Temples, mosques, and churches are like mirrors – they can only reflect the feelings and beliefs of their members, no matter how beautiful and awe-inspiring the building looks from the outside.

Intolerance and ignorance prevails whenever human beings fail to critically analyze their origin.  It is    easy to be labeled with a certain nationality, social status, and religious background, but only a very few ponder over their essential identity.  How can they get closer to God and be imbibed with God-like qualities when they do not even know their real, authentic self?  

Those who do not know themselves often rely upon people around them to characterize their identity.  If we stand amongst friends who praise our way of speaking or way of dressing, then we imagine ourselves as a very diligent human being.  On the other hand, if we stand around people who ignore us, criticize us, or refuse to mingle with us, then we may well visualize ourselves as somehow socially inept or incompetent.  This is why God-realization is said to go hand-in-hand with self-realization.  When we realize God, we comprehend our true origin and believe that all other labels given to us are of lesser relevance.  We then apprehend that the main aim of life is to help the soul recognize its eternal home – the supersoul (God).  Whether we are healthy or sick, whether we are rich or poor, or whether we are Indian or American, we realize who we really are through our connection with God.  Wherever and however we are, we are in a state of bliss regardless of the changing conditions on the outside.

Everyone wants this state of bliss, but only a few are able to experience it.  Why doesn’t everyone taste this bliss?  Where is the hurdle or obstruction to doing so? Saint Kabir Ji says that “Kam, Krodh, Lobh” is the reason why.  These three things are what obscures our judgment and why we cannot visualize the path towards eternal bliss. 

Kam refers to ‘greed’ or desiring more than what we have.   We are unsatisfied with what we already possess to the point that we are not even getting happiness from what we own. The bigger the desire, the larger is the deficiency.  The more we want, the bigger beggars we become.  One can be satiated with a $1,000 bonus for finishing a project.  Another can be disappointed with the same $1,000 when the expectations or desires were for $5,000.  The amount is the same, but the perception is contrasting.  Too many times one is caught being jealous by counting the possessions of another man and forgetting what he himself is blessed with.  Dreams are never fulfilled because as some dreams become true, bigger ones are being fabricated at the same time.

Lobh refers to our attachments.  It means holding on tightly to whatever one possesses.  Lobh refers to one’s hands tightly holding on to the past while Kam refers to the eyes being glued to the future. Lobh causes man to fear the loss of whatever he has accomplished and accumulated so far in his life (fame, fortune, and knowledge), even though they may not have given him complete happiness. Between these two conditions of Lobh and Kam is the small door that opens to the path of enlightenment and true bliss.  Jesus told his devotees, “straight is the way, but narrow is my gate.”  He further said that “through the eye of a needle, a camel may pass, but a wealthy man will not be able to enter through the gate of heaven.”  The wealthy man here refers to someone who obsessively holds on to his past accolades and recognitions.  Kabir Ji similarly reiterated this concept when he spoke of spirituality as a street so narrow, that there’s not enough room for two to pass at the same time.  The two he referred to was the authentic self, and the deluded self.  Past glories and achievements cloak over the real self, manifesting as ego.  What one has collected in the past is of very little use for eternal salvation because none of it is going with us after death. Living in the present is the only way to enter that “narrow gate” leading to God. Everything should feel complete and this in turn makes us feel complete.  This sense of elation and satisfaction negates the feeling of Kam. Similarly, one transcends Lobh if, without regret or clinging, he can give away his possessions.  In truth, only an enlightened master can give away his possessions with joy.  All others fear to share or give away what they own. God is gracious in giving human beings whatever they need.  Why can’t people pass on to others what God gave them without any hesitation?  Giving of what we own can be as simple as watering a deprived plant or giving an ailing patient some flowers.  Even love-filled words can brighten a depressed person’s day. It need not be material giving.

Krodh refers to anger.  It rightfully fits between Kam and Lobh says Saint Kabir.  When do we get angry?  It is when someone interferes with our desires or dreams (Kam).  The other times we experience anger is when someone threatens to take away our possessions (Lobh). Many people seek therapy or advice from great saints as to how they can get rid of their anger.  The most direct way to eradicate anger is to dissipate the sense of attachment (Lobh) and greed (Kam).  When one is not busy defending their possessions and dreams then there is no reason for anger to arise.  Kabir Ji states that the fortunate soul who overcomes Kam, Krodh and Lobh is then able to start on the simple and straight journey towards being one with God. 

As already stated, God-realization leads to self-realization.  Self-realization allows one to rise above attachment, anger, and greed.  Once these obstacles are cleared, the path towards enlightenment, bliss, and eternal salvation is clear and easy to walk.  God-realization is attained in the presence of a Realised Master, or Satguru.  Such Messengers of God can teach us the ways of attaining God-like qualities such as love, compassion and unwavering balance.  If one is fortunate enough to seek until they arrive in the benign presence of a Realised Master, then they can be assured that they are one of the fish that is ready to be carried home by the Great Fisherman.

Dr. Kanwal Chawla, Fort Myers, Florida, USA

Hope is to want or expect something – to have a wish to get or do something or for something to happen or be true, especially something that seems possible or likely.

Everyone is searching for hope.  Always, constantly searching for an elusive ‘something’ to make their lives complete. Some think what they are missing is more wealth; others, a life partner; others still, a better career.  For many, they say they are looking for happiness. I feel it’s really a search for one thing – the gift of hope.
 
Hope is what keeps us going. Hope is what drives us. Hope is why people are driven to different belief systems, religions and faith affiliations. When I sit in a Oneness Gathering (Satsang) I look around, absorb the positive atmosphere and feel a sense of great hope. It is the spiritually enlightened we come to listen to and learn from. It is always to seek, to share and to believe. I am beginning to realise that Faith is a by-product of hope.
 
We want so desperately to believe that there is a reason for our being here. Some are told what to believe and who to believe in, and they are happy doing so. Some start their own search, examining all the possible paths to knowing – they may find a Guru or belief system, and then follow that path.

Then there are others, who are constantly seeking. They go from one practice to another, one belief to another and one creed to another. They may not know what it is they are looking for, and continue until they believe that they have found it. Some remain in the search forever.
 
What I believe is that you have to seek within. The truth is within. Though so many layers of experience and conditioning are piled on top, we have to keep peeling them away and dig deep to find it. And then re-connect. I don’t say ‘connect’ because we’re never ever not connected. We just need to re-member who we are, and re-connect to the source within. I am not saying we do not need a guides, spiritual leaders or God. The source within is the GOD we seek to connect with. An enlightened Guru can act as a mirror, reflecting our deepest reality.  
 
For some it is easier to see this, feel this and experience this. Others have been schooled in the theory, but have yet to practice it. It boils down to choices we make every single moment of our lives. If we live on auto-pilot, we then are not conscious co-creators of our lives. But if we start being aware of what it is we think about, how we are shaping our own lives we can begin becoming conscious co-creators of our experience of life.

The choices before us need to be made all the time – consciously and consistently.  Such noticing becomes a habit, through which awareness and awakening arises. Call it self-development, if you will. 

How do we go about being more aware? It’s actually not that hard – you have to just start paying attention – real attention to what you are thinking about, and what you are feeling.  If the thoughts in your head do not serve you or are of a negative nature then simply stop thinking about them! Literally say “stop” in your mind and bring your focus on something that brings you joy or is of a positive nature.  It may sound silly but it’s necessary till we cultivate the habit of choosing positive thoughts. 

There is a saying, “What we think about, we bring about”. So take a look at your life as it is right now.  What are you attracting to yourself? Are you happy with what is going on for you and around you?  If not, think hard and really be honest with yourself about what it is you have been thinking about.  If you cannot remember the thoughts, then that awareness needs to come into play.  Really watch your thoughts and change them as and when necessary.  Keep choosing to focus on things that make you feel good.  If you are in a ‘feel good’ state of mind – you will naturally attract goodness.  Feeling good becomes so much easier, when you are connected within.  When you re-connect you will start being more aware. 

Develop this awareness so you can awaken to the source within. Re-connection to the source is full of hope – then hope is not something elusive as we once thought. Hope becomes Faith. Once we have Faith we learn to let go, to flow and truly be.  In this, is bliss.

NOW – Not tomorrow or next week or in the future – now is the time to wake up and stay awake.

Seek and ye shall find. Ask and ye shall receive. Knock and the doors of heaven shall open unto you……
 
Heaven is truly a state of mind.  Not someone else’s but your OWN.

Stay blessed.

– Dina Sabnani, Hong Kong

Over sometime, I have been grappling with the ins and outs of destiny and free will, really trying to understand. I mean really understand it. But this is the biggest paradox in spiritual science I have found.

The Scriptures talk about both, telling us that on one hand nothing can happen without God’s will and on the other, that everything is in our hands. His Holiness Nirankari Baba would often explain this point stating that ‘God is a Supreme Energy and within this Energy’s will, so to speak, is the freedom of action’. This means that we reap what we sow, but at the same time, the energy behind all our actions is this Supreme Force. So at the end of the day, it is all God!

Specifically, Baba Ji would use the metaphor of an electricity source.  He would explain that we can tap into the source to power a fan or air conditioning unit that provides cold air, or plug in a heater that provides warmth.  The electricity does not interfere with the choice of what we plug in, but what we choose affects our subsequent experience.  That made a lot of sense to me.

Later, I came across an article by one of my spiritual mentors in North America, Rajan Sachdeva. He relayed a story once told by Great Master Baba Avtar Singh Ji. It goes like this…

Once, a hungry, thirsty and ever so tired person in the desert suddenly begins to receive all that he desires, whilst sitting under the mythological tree of life (Kalapa Viriksha).  Not knowing where everything comes from, he becomes suspicious and entertains negative thoughts. He feels it could be a ghost. Then fulfilling his desire, the ghost appears! He fears that the ghost might eat him.  The ghost does eat him!

Baba Avtar Singh Ji would explain that the supreme formless power is like the tree of life; it is an energy field of Infinite Potentiality, which can give you whatever you desire. The message is to think positively, be positive and say positive things.

This blew me away. If whatever we think or say will come true, from today onwards, let us watch our thoughts and watch what we say, because it will change our lives! As the beautiful ancient Chinese saying tells us;

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.   

Our mental processes and speech connects to actions and habits – essentially, influencing what we experience in the world. The Infinite Formless Energy (the real tree of life) is the giver and source.  Let us tap into it with wisdom.

– Dave Dhanoa, Toronto, Canada

I live in Quebec, Canada, and I wanted a vacation in Portugal. In life, I felt I had everything financially and my health was good too, but since birth I always felt there was something missing.

I would often travel the world to try to fill this feeling of emptiness I felt since childhood. I did a ten day silent retreat where I did not speak and I did many other penances to try to find what was missing in my life. I tried so much to fill this inner void but the feeling of emptiness would not go away.  How did it go away? Strangely, not until I was sitting next to a fellow passenger who shared a mystic revelation with me, on a busy and noisy plane!  

My indirect flight from Montreal to Toronto was the first leg of my journey to the beach destinations of Portugal. I had planned a month’s holiday, intent on days of relaxation by the sea. Whatever I planned, I now realise it is God who sets all the plans in motion!

So, I found myself sitting on a plane next to a complete stranger. I remember the noise and the commotion. It was far from an ideal setting for an enlightening experience, as you may imagine. What exactly happened next was not planned and it is very difficult to put it in words.

I talked with this stranger about the deeper meaning of love and about meditation. I explained to him how I am on a journey looking for myself, seeking to get rid of the emptiness which had been with me since birth. The stranger only spoke English, but was able to somehow understand everything I said even when I spoke in French. He was able to feel what I wanted to say. Then suddenly he asked me if I wanted to receive the Gyan? He said ‘are you ready to have your life questions answered today?’ I thought “Oh my God, yes I am!”. Thinking back, I did not really know what the Gyan was, but I saw in his eyes so much love and truth. I trusted him. This is why I decided to be open to the wisdom he offered to share.

There was only 20 minutes left before touch down, to have the Gyan experience. I was listening to his voice and it felt good. I could focus, regardless of people talking all around me. At one point, even the air hostess interrupted, telling us to put the tables up as we were entering the descent for landing. Despite all the distractions, I kept listening. Then in a moment, he revealed the Formless.  Suddenly, everything else disappeared.  There was no more noise, nothing else could distract me.

It felt as though no one else was there. I am trembling just thinking about it! It is hard to find the expression to describe what I felt in any language. Even now, I can find no words to explain this Gyan experience. What I can say is there was so much energy and love. I felt complete. After the Gyan, there was no emptiness; there was only fullness. It was full of energy. The Gyan made such an impact in my life.

Ironically, I never liked being on a plane. As the plane was about to land this stranger was still talking and I was crying with joy and saying to myself, “please do not land too soon, allow my friend to finish”. Arriving in Toronto, I’d heard about the Tribute to Humanness Conference, and so wanted to stay for it. I was aware that the event would be a homage to the Spiritual Master who had made this Gyan possible, His Holiness Nirankari Baba Hardev Singh Ji. So many fellow passengers, including the stranger who had become my beloved friend, were travelling to attend this most special of gatherings. However, I had already made plans to travel straight to Portugal.

Reaching Portugal some hours later, I instantly felt I made a mistake and should have stayed in Toronto. I could not think of anything else but the Gyan. This experience was the only thing in my heart and mind.

I could not sleep for two days after the revelation I had experienced. It was as though I had no desires left, and I needed nothing else. I was not sleeping, drinking or eating. I was totally absorbed in Gyan. My entire consciousness was focused on this Formless, which was so complete.

I had to know more about the Sant Nirankari Mission, His Holiness and the fellowship that was sharing such deep wisdom with others, so freely. I arranged to travel from Porto to the Mission’s Centre for Oneness in the West Midlands, UK,  where I knew the friend I’d met on the plane would be. I was again sitting on a plane – this time smiling, thinking of the Gyan experience which I can never forget.

I stayed at the Centre for Oneness for a few days, enjoying the hospitality that was all around.  I realised why I had made this journey. It was to share love with all the people there, who have been touched by the same Gyan experience.  It was an opportunity to give and receive that same love.  This love is beyond anything I could have imagined. I asked for answers and I asked from love. I received more than I possibly could have expected.

Though I have no siblings, I now feel everyone is my brother and sister. This love is boundless. I am full of gratitude.  I felt at home in the company of those who also had this experience. When I sat in their company, I knew why I had come. The fulfilment I received on the plane was what I had yearned for since I was born.

I have since attended the Oneness Gathering (Satsang) in Montreal, and found the same love there.  Now I want to share this unending love with the world. I travelled the world looking for answers but now finally, I can say my search is over.

          Chantel Lacasse, Magog, Quebec, Cananda

The traditional definitions for engineering include: ‘the application of mathematics, empirical evidence, scientific, social and practical knowledge in order to invent, design, build, maintain, research and improve structures, systems and components.’ I’d like to think of applying this definition to my own personal journey of change.

Frankly, in engineering terms, my life had not run particularly well up until the turn of the century. Not well, not smoothly, not economically, not dynamically. It was as if there hadn’t been a service for years. I wasn’t putting the right fuels and lubricants into my system, in fact more the equivalent of sugar in the petrol tank (true sabotage) or at the very least, leaded petrol in an unleaded car. My environment was hostile – fog, rain, icy roads, many of my parts had seized up, bulbs had gone in the lamps and indicators and I was in the habit of either leaving the handbrake on or never applying the brakes at all! And the mirrors – what mirrors? I wasn’t going to look back to see what chaos I might’ve caused. Are you with me so far?

The vehicle that was me – ‘vehicle’, as in a means, a channel, a force, a method or an approach – that vehicle – was in bad shape and going down a one-way street. The crash was inevitable. Rather than get a new vehicle, I decided to overhaul and repair the one I had. And that took “Inner Engineering”. Remember the Haynes Motor Car Manuals? They explained how to carry out routine maintenance, restoration and servicing of your vehicle – primarily aimed at the Do-it Yourselfer.

Over the years, I think every part of my vehicle has been dismantled and checked over, with many components and systems needing to be either replaced, upgraded or permanently scrapped. I’ve referred to the appropriate manuals, frequently. I’ve spoken with other Inner Engineering enthusiasts and shared ideas – even towing myself to a workshop when that’s what it took….

During this time, I have taken on several passengers – both long-term and short-term – I’ve often been the passenger myself, as it became quite clear that an Advanced Driving Instructor or Higher Mechanic was what I needed to continue the Inner Engineering overhaul.

In my experience, it takes a gentle, patient and loving approach to create real and lasting personal change. Even in traditional engineering environments, it isn’t possible to improve structures, systems and components by hammering, beating, wrenching and kicking!  This has never been an effective approach to adaptations and repairs. Rather, it’s about easing, tending, oiling, adjusting, cleaning, resting and understanding. Easy does it.                                                   

Caroline Gibbs
Solihull, UK

I worked for many years as a therapist and memory trainer, before spending almost 3 decades as a yoga tutor both in England and the beautiful island of Cyprus.  I feel very grateful and honoured to have met so many spiritually knowledgeable, helpful and true friends. This also includes the many yoga students who crossed my path.

Teaching ‘comprehensive yoga’ entailed Hatha (a physical yoga with various exercises and postures), Visualization, Pranayama (breathing exercises) aswell as lessons in Nutrition and Meditation. Infact, after coaching and learning about so many different meditations, I had never heard of the “Neti-Neti” approach, which eventually led me to the Gyan – a lasting experience of the Formless.

After approximately one year of attending Neti-Neti sessions and Oneness gatherings, with much thought, consideration and a little apprehension I finally took the right step and asked for the Gyan. I realised the time was right. On entering the Gyan Sanctuary, my first impression was one of unbelievable calm, with a certain stillness, inner peace and holiness. Seated on the floor, my concentration and gaze never left me. I was totally transfixed on the journey I was about to take.

Listening intently, I sensed the room was filling with a light mist approximately 2ft in height rising from the floor. This went away, but returned. Without effort I was still observing and feeling this quiet intense concentration. My gaze was still fixed on the face of the individual acting as a channel for the Gyan, when suddenly his facial expressions were beginning to change, from getting larger, looking older, wider, and there was an increasing body shape. At this point I remember changing my gaze, but my intensity returned. I saw a younger face, but still changing into what I had already seen – a larger moving form resembling that of a Buddha figure.

I felt very calm. There was a strong feeling of peace all around me. I did not want to let go of this experience. It was a very blissful feeling that I was reluctant to leave. The calm has stayed with me.

       – Brenda Sanderson, Hednesford, Staffordshire

Six days after our son was born, he had to be hospitalized. Having brought him in with a fever, the doctor advised us that he would have to be kept in. Extensive tests were to be carried out, including a lumbar puncture, which involves the drainage of fluid from the spine.

I wept because this was not how I wanted things to go. I did not want to see my new baby boy with blue bruises on his arms, caused by IV probing and poking. I certainly did not want the news that came a few hours later, that he most likely had a bacterial infection in the fluid surrounding his brain – in other words, Meningitis. Apparently, only one in a million babies contracts it. Sadly, my baby was one of them. He was to be hospitalised for at least 2 weeks. As to the outcome of the treatment, nobody could say.

Aside from crying and feeling numb, I knew I had to turn to God. I needed Him more than ever. But when I tried praying, I wasn’t sure how to pray. Do I pray, asking for our son to be magically restored to perfect health? But who am I to tell God what to do, I said to myself.

The paediatric Ward was full of families, wanting the same thing for their child. But just because the wish was not granted, it does not mean that God does not love them. He just has a different plan.

Not able to think straight, I simply prayed for the grace to accept whatever God willed, and to feel His love in the process.

This incident coincided with my reading the book, The Forty Rules of Love. I had the book in my bag and re-read some sections that I had already highlighted. They reminded me of God’s love and His presence. 

“Doesn’t God say, I am closer to you than your jugular vein? He is inside each and every one of us. That is why He never abandons us. How can He abandon Himself?”

We did not have family nearby. However, whilst they could not be physically with us, it was comforting to learn that God was very much there, with me. As I prayed to surrender to God’s plans, already chalked out for me, I also read:

“Some people make the mistake of confusing submission with weakness. It is anything but. Submission is not an inadequate or defective quality, but a form of peaceful acceptance of the terms of the universe, including the things we are currently unable to change or comprehend”.

In the light of submission, something miraculous happened when we saw the doctors again. They told us that they had made a mistake. Our son did not have a bacterial infection. It was, in fact, a viral infection causing the fever, which would go away on its own. Our 2-week hospital stay suddenly turned into a 2-night stay. It was surreal. I could not believe what I was hearing – the doctors made a mistake!

I was numb again, but this time it was because I was overwhelmed by God’s love and His grace. We were blessed that our diagnosis had changed, but what had me in awe was simply that feeling – the realization that He is always with me. That He is always carrying me through every phase of life, and that His love is always available to me in every situation.

“God’s love is an endless ocean, and human beings strive to get as much water as they can out of it. But at the end of the day, how much water we each get depends on the size of our cups. Some people have barrels, some buckets, while some others only have bowls”. 

So I prayed. I prayed for God to bless me to ever embrace as much of His love as I can, and not to place limits on it. 

The thing is I am a very weak human being. I felt broken when all of this was happening and I know I don’t have the strength to face challenges in life. And that is why I’m reminded to keep praying with the words, ‘Help me surrender, God. I know, through You, my weaknesses can turn into strength and Your love will always be enough to carry me’.

I want to thank my spiritual teachers, His Holiness Nirankari Babaji and now Her Holiness Pujya Mataji, for blessing me with this beautiful gift of realization. The following passage, also from the book, summarizes the role of the Guru in my life. 

“A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself/herself ; he/she will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the Light of God pass through them”.

Thank you for letting the Light of God pass through you, Babaji and Mataji, so that it could reach me.

Since the moment I experienced the Gyan (Enlightened Awareness), I feel the whole universe has been in my favour.  My Simran (prayer) is already complete. In the Bible, Jesus’s guidance on prayer is ‘Hallowed be Thy name’. Since my experience of the Gyan, wherever I go, wherever I am, I say ‘thank you’ for everything all the time.

This Gyan is everything. It lacks nothing; it needs nothing. You see Him. Sorry not him or her, but it! You are it! So it is good to pray and it’s important to appreciate the Gyan for this God is everywhere.

Prior to this, I used to project my thoughts outside. I thought of my Father in Heaven, and imagined Heaven to be far away in the sky. But after experiencing the Gyan, I look within myself, behind me, and all around me. It is everywhere. It is here and now. Everything we need, everything we want, everything we pray for is here and now. We just need to tune into it. It is all-pervading all things and manifests in all things. When we pray, let us think about ourself here now, with gratitude

There was once a caged pet in Africa.  As there was no way the animal could escape, it decided to play dead. The moment people thought the animal had died, they released it from the cage. Similarly, the moment I had the Gyan, I felt as though I died. There is no more of me. I am no longer walking, but walking is happening to me. I am no longer speaking, but words are being uttered. This body stands. I am completely free from all thoughts and doubts because of the realisation of the Formless.

Moses said in the Old Testament, ‘no one has lived and has seen God’. This is one of the most misunderstood statements. Moses was not talking about the dying of the body, but the relinquishing of one’s ego. Gyan is the moment when the ego dies, and you never die again. As long as the ego lives, there is suffering.

We are suffering from a different type of oppression, and the oppression which is not spoken about in the world. We seek liberation not just from a physical prison, but from everything that holds us down. What holds us down, are all the things that appear to be.

Once upon a time there was a man who wore a different mask every day. Each mask expressed a different emotional expression – sometimes joy, sometimes sorrow. Some masks conveyed fear and worry. The man was fascinated by the masks he wore. People reacted differently to the different masks he wore.

Then the yearning arose of wanting to fall in love and get married. When he saw a beautiful lady, whom he wished to marry, she ran away from him. He suddenly recognised that it was because of the mask he was wearing, which deterred her. He shouted aloud, ‘please stop, stop; this mask is not me!’. But it was too late – he had lost his chance, having become too engrossed in the masks, and losing sight of his real self.

Having learned his lesson, the man went to the river and leaned over to observe his reflection.  Seeing himself again after so many years, he gained an inner feeling of peace. Then he asked himself ‘am I joyful or am I the joy?’ He realised he was the joy behind all the masks he had once worn. The masks he had used were just aspects of the passing personality. This personality caused so much suffering to the man. It has always been so!  The personality – that separate sense of self, which we regard as our qualities and characteristics, is so often the trigger for problems in relationships and the world at large. Another word for it, is ego.

Sometimes calling it ego makes it less meaningful for us and abstract. But calling it personality allows us to identify it and recognise it. It is this personality which is stopping us enjoying joy, which is what prevents human beings from reaching harmonious oneness.

Our personality is shaped by the world – it is what we think about ourselves and what we believe others think of us. If we are able to drop these labels, step aside from ego and rise above the limitations of personality, we will experience the joy that is always within.

Having transcended these limitations, we can dance with the secret that remains, dance with the unnameable, dance with the formless and dance with that which we truly are. It is when we drop this ego in every shape and form, that the formless Nirankar prevails in life

                                                                                    Albert Winners, Birmingham