“Why should I say sorry?  He/she started it!” My mother was used to hearing this when my brother and I were very young.  Mum wasn’t interested in who started what and just wanted peace and for us to stop quarrelling.  Of course, justice and fairness did not seem to count and my brother and I would have to make up and start talking to one another to stop Mum from becoming further upset. 

Recently I observed my two-and-a-half-year-old being bossed around by an older friend of his, who was shouting at him as to which toys he could and could not play with.  Later that day, I asked my son about the way he was spoken to and whether he would like to play with this friend again.   He thought about it and then said: “No, mummy, he was being horrible to me.”  Remembering my own childhood, I tried to console him and told him that it was his responsibility to show his friend how to be nice.  My thinking was that the sooner he picks this up the better.

We often take our opinions on fairness and justice into adulthood and focus on how people ought to treat us and how they ought to speak to us.  The moment someone talks down to us, disrespects our views or tries to attack the ego, we shut them out and protect ourselves with a mental wall which has a huge red sign painted outside of it saying: “Warning!  This person is dangerous!” or “Warning!  This person can’t be trusted!”  

Many of us have learnt the age-old maxim; ‘Treat others the way you want to be treated’ and many of us live with the principle that if I am doing good to someone, I expect good back from them and the moment we don’t receive goodness in return, we ditch the maxim and give as good as we get, which is not always very nice.

Perhaps our parents’ teaching of “it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, be nice anyway” was long forgotten or perhaps we get used to life experiences and we think we know better in the real world where we are faced with the challenges within work, studies or other relationships.  Or perhaps the ego has grown so big that it now demands to be respected no matter what!

I always observe that it’s easier to become a bridge or a mediator to bridge the gap between others when it doesn’t involve you.  However, when you are faced with the challenge and it directly concerns you, it’s an entirely different story.  When faced with criticism, misunderstandings or someone’s ego, are we able to become a bridge?  Is it easy to become the peace-maker, the mediator for our self? 

Taking inspiration from fascinating Spiritual Gurus (Satgurus) from various times, they all had something in common.  They were able to do the unthinkable and unimaginable.  They were able to continue treating another the way that they wanted to be treated irrespective of the treatment they were receiving in return.  Look at Lord Buddha who was calm in the face of adversity and remained kind to the one who hurled abuse at him.  Similarly, Guru Amar Dass ji, the third Sikh Guru, was compassionate towards the person who kicked him in his back.  Instead of anger and retaliation, he lovingly asked the man if his foot was not hurt in the process of kicking his hard bones.  In Christianity, Lord Jesus Christ asked God to forgive those who had misunderstood his teachings and who were responsible for his crucifixion.  Similarly, Satguru Baba Hardev Singh ji Maharaj guided all to forgive those responsible for assassinating his Satguru and father, Baba Gurbachan Singh ji.

Spiritual Masters have always stood out amongst the rest because of their compassionate, forgiving and loving nature.  Their purpose was to inspire us to live the same way, as it was the only way to break walls of hatred and to keep bridges maintained.  Where did their strength for such noble divine attributes come from and why were they motivated towards building bridges?  Their inspiration came from the source of eternal unconditional love and compassion.  Their inspiration came from that which unites us all; God or Formless Nirankar.

Being the torch bearers of Enlightenment, the Satgurus awakened man through Self-Realisation/God-Realisation – the Gyan.  This Awakening in turn, revealed the eternal thread that binds all of us and that we are all part and parcel of the same Divine Energy; our souls are part of the same One Super-soul and we are creation of the same Creator.  Being aware of this One Almighty Entity, we then begin to see ourselves in others. 

The Gyan (God-realisation) peels away the external layers of the ‘fake identity’ i.e. the colour, faith group, profession, family relation, personality etc.  Instead, focus is on the ‘real identity’ which is the Formless One that resides within us all.  The maxim, ‘Treat others the way you want to be treated’ not only makes sense but becomes effortless because we are actually treating not another but ‘our self’.  By keeping the light of Gyan alight and living in self-awareness, we automatically become bridges in all situations whether those situations involve us or not.

After receiving the Gyan, I can happily state that whenever I am one with the Supreme Bridge and connected to the Universal Connector, it’s far easier to become a bridge and to allow potential walls to fall.  I pray that I remain living in Awareness so that my life can be of use to a world which needs bridges more than ever before.

– Sangeeta Tutt

We spend our whole life making decisions. We think long and hard about some of them, but how much time do we spend thinking about how we make decisions that we do and whether we really are in control?
– Casper Berry. 

Have you ever thought about why we hold ourselves back from taking action on things we know will be good for us? Many of us have not even taken the time to think about this. We can be so busy just doing, we forget to reflect on our decisions. For example, the actions can be to eat better, exercise, and walk in nature. Too often we do not want to take these actions. We experience negative self-talk convincing us of the reasons why we should not take action. Next time you are going through this experience, think to yourself, I am quick to take action on the things that do not serve me. Why is this? 

Maybe because they are readily available. We find it easier to take action on things we are used to doing.  This is part of being in your comfort zone. If you want to create change, you have to break out of doing things that bring you comfort. In order to grow, you have to be committed to changing your mindset. Take each day as it comes and make it your goal to become more and more aware each and every day. 

This can be a scary experience. When I was first presented with the opportunity to live and work abroad in the Czech Republic, I did not think about it in such vast detail, as I know I could have thought my way out of such an opportunity. I could have let my thoughts and fears override my mind and stop me from taking action. I stepped out of my comfort zone in such a huge way. When you take massive action, there is so much opportunity for growth. Sometimes you just have to step out of what is familiar to you and change your environment and everything that you are used to. This is where you grow. 

I have learnt so much about myself. If I did not take action on this decision, I would still be stuck. I would have kept myself from experiencing new things. I got to face new challenges that I would not have faced if I had not made the move. When you travel and witness how other people live differently from how you live, you realise that there is no such thing as “normal.” Too often in society, we are told that we have to be normal or we are being abnormal. The truth is, as humans, we all have our own definition of what normal is. Society and the media have their definition, and they expect us to live up to their idea of normality. It is time to step into who you truly are. 

The world is waiting for the gifts you have within you to share. Be your unique self. Do not live to please society or anyone else. If you do this, you will be neglecting your true self. We live in a world that is always trying to tell us who we are, always trying to change and conform us. You will discover that it is liberating to be your unique self and stand fully in the expression of who you truly are. 

Who are you holding yourself back from becoming? Often, we are fearful of what we can become when we achieve. The quote from Marianne Williamson extracted from her book, ‘A Return to Love’ comes to mind; 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us 

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. 

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

The universe is invested in your enlightenment and your ability to become the best version of yourself. Live your life on purpose with meaning and empowering others. Next time you see that you are holding yourself back from taking a positive action, remember to reframe and rethink. Do you want to stay stuck and experience the same things you are used to, or do you want to grow and spread your wings and experience more in your life? 

The choice is yours. Once you become consciously aware of the decisions you are making, you can decide what action steps you wish to take. Ask yourself, will this action step inspire me to become more, or will it hold you back? 

Katrina Calvin 

We don’t do it enough, but what is essential

Is to think about our Highest Human Potential

For when this short life comes to its end

What will the world remember you for, my friend?

Your job, your house, bank balance or clothes…

You won’t be remembered for any of those

What did you do, how did you make others feel?

What did you give back? That’s the big deal

If you came, you lived then you went – so what!

Did you leave a mark… or just left a blot?

Those who are on histories’ pages

Are the ones who gave like saints and sages

Those who made the world a better place

Of the billions, we recognise only their face

They did not waste a second, they came first

Such was their drive, such was their thirst

They knew that life could be gone in a breath

That nothing can be achieved after death

So they worked in the moment, lived in the now

They just did and kept doing, did not wonder how.

We too have one life and if we waste it with vices

Then hate breeds hate, we’ll be left in a crisis

Wars and terror and lives full of fear

Happiness cannot come from all of this dear.

Give human values, ‘humanness’ back to all

Build bridges says my Master, don’t build a wall.

Those who live for others, they have love in their hearts

Where our thinking ends, that is where theirs starts

Let’s reach our true potential, let’s start today.

Who knows if we’ll live to be old and grey

Let’s wear a smile and let’s see all as One

Embrace the world then the journey has begun.

See the beauty in every creation He made

He controls each moment, so why be afraid?

Worry not, for He will always provide…

The King and the pawn are put back side by side

We’ll all have to go, but it’s about how we went

The time that was given, how was it really spent?

What use is the Sun, if the curtains are drawn?

What use is our life if we did nothing, once born?

Each day gone by, reminds me for sure

It’s another day wasted, I should have done more

Love, Live, Laugh… know who you are

Know the One Formless, who is Nirankar

The only One to know, is the Only essential

Who helps us unlock our Highest Human Potential

                                                           – Sudhir Kundi, London

We need a world where equality is rife

That’s the key for quality of life

To live with love respect and care

Never to fight over this world that we share

Love begins where co-existence starts

We can bridge the gap between distant hearts

Our similarities are different but our differences are the same

We all have desires that burn like a flame

No two snowflakes are ever the same

But all become one when they melt into rain

We need a world where quality is rife

That’s the key for the quality of life

To live with love respect and care

Never to fight over this world that we share

Rich finds may bring us pleasure but,

Enriched minds are a real treasure

To get lost in wealth is truly tragic

To have family and health is real magic

Value is more important and not the price

It’s nice to be important but more important to be nice

 We need a world where equality is rife

That’s the key for quality of life

To live with love respect and care

Never to fight over this world that we share

– Gurdip Roopra

“Knowing me knowing you – aha”. The catchphrase used by Steve Coogan’s character Alan Partridge, the Norwich-based talk show host. But let’s put aside thoughts of comedy for now, along with the lyrics of the 1977 Abba hit single of the same name.

Knowing me, knowing you is a concept that has come to make perfect sense to me. It works just as well the other way round too – knowing you, knowing me.

In the last 16 years or so, I have found it necessary to face up to a lot of things about my self in order to elicit change and growth – become more self-aware if you like. When I say self-aware I mean aware of my ego which I learned was completely separate from my Self. Through no deliberate intent, I have operated from an egoic stance for most of my (quite long) life. I still do a lot of the time – after all it’s the way most of us are shown how to respond to the world around us, from the earliest age.

During this transitionary period from 100% ego to 95% ego / 5% self (slow progress), I have sought out books, gurus and groups where similar seekers can be found. The Wellbeing Forum was one of these groups. At the close of the forum we would be led in a beautiful meditation and over time I have repeatedly heard these words, “There is only You”, and “Notice…notice who is noticing?” And, “If you find yourself thinking that first thought and you’re aware of it – then who is the watcher?” I never understood these expressions until recently. At last, I’m beginning to feel that slight breeze between me and my egoic thoughts. It’s the start – I’m sure of that.

So, where does knowing me, knowing you fit into this? I wanted to find out who I am – what makes me tick – to pin down the egoic character traits that so often trigger reactive responses to people places and things. It was hard at first to look at myself. Denial, defensive arrogance and shame can be big barriers to honestly taking stock.

Years ago, a good friend gave me an excellent piece of advice. She said, “you know how easy it is to find fault with others? List the things about them that drive you mad. It can be a huge help in learning about yourself.”

“Really?’

“Really – they say that whatever irritates you about the other person is a behaviour that you either use yourself or used to use – so listing those will help you get to know yourself.”

And that’s how it began – knowing me, knowing you.

Because I wanted to treat myself more gently than I have in the past, I took time to explore the roots of my negative behaviours – to trace them back to source. This was done without blame attached – finding historical fault was not the reason for doing this. It’s worth adding that when I did take the trouble to find out more about the past experiences of my family of origin, I was better able to see that blaming would be a pointless exercise.

Knowing them, knowing me. Knowing me, knowing them.

As time has gone by, I have also felt able to notice all the things I like so much about the increasing circle of newer friends around me and to realise that perhaps I have the capacity for those positive behaviours too. In doing this I have become more aware of my True Self.

So – more knowing you, knowing me.

Along with the capacity to recognise my positive qualities mirrored in you has come the ability to find compassion and understanding for not only my own seemingly unhelpful behaviours but also for those same behaviours that I can find so troublesome and irritating in others that I meet.

Knowing me, accepting me, knowing more about you, accepting you.

-Caroline Gibbs
Solihull

Looking back at my life, I find it is a continuous series of moments full of Grace! Not a single moment of my life has been devoid of Grace, but there have been times when I have failed to acknowledge or feel this, due to my own shortsightedness. I have several instances where blessings came in disguise, which I did not recognise.  It was only later I have realized they were such potent gifts. Let me share one such instance.

The year was 1992. My father was discussing my marriage proposal with my family. In the way arranged marriages work in my culture, my Dad was telling us about the educational background and job security of the prospective groom. Everything about the boy seemed perfect to my father. Yet, I was very apprehensive as he was not associated with the Nirankari Mission, with which I had grown up and felt so fulfilled by. “Father”, I said, “I am not going to get married to a Non-Nirankari”. The family tried to pacify me saying that they will speak to the boy about it and then decide.

When the boy was told about my attachment to the Mission and whether he has any issues with my attending Oneness Satsangs after the marriage, he was belligerent. On hearing the questions, his first reaction was, “I don’t believe in all this! There is so much fraud going on in the name of religion.  I don’t want to be forced into something that I don’t believe”. I was glad to see that it was not working out. But then a turn of events surprised me – he was quick to add, “If your daughter believes in it, I don’t mind. I can even accompany her to the place of Satsang, as long as I am not forced to join or enroll”. Given this reassurance, and so much else about the match that was agreeable, my parents consented. Somehow, I was still very apprehensive. After all, if I was inhibited from staying connected to what I have loved all my life, how would I manage?   

I told my parents, “I agree to the marriage proposal, but only if my Guru, Baba Hardev ji approves of this alliance and blesses me during his forthcoming visit to Mumbai”. After all, it was the most crucial decision of my life! To my dismay, the spiritual tour of Mumbai was cancelled. As pressed by the groom’s family, the date for the marriage was fixed. The day when both the families had planned to shop collectively for wedding attire, I did not go along and kept praying that taking note of my displeasure, the marriage may yet be called off. But that did not happen.

With only 20 days left for the ceremonies, my elder brother asked me, “Are you not happy with the marriage”? I broke down and told him how I wished Babaji had approved the alliance. He paused and said, “Don’t you know that Satguru is not a body but the Divine Knowledge, which is all-pervading? Satguru is always with us, everywhere and at all moments in form of Nirankar – the formless”.

I felt strengthened by these words.  I understood that I had limited blessings to a physical meeting and face to face conversation with my Guru.  I had forgotten my Guru’s teaching, that I can access every spiritual blessing through direct communion with Nirankar. Together with my brother, we sat in meditative ‘Simran’, seeking guidance for all to be well.

Within a few days, one of Babaji’s beloved Saints, Rev. Nirmal Joshi visited Mumbai.  As a noted philosopher and spiritually wise man, he had a special aura and influence. I had an opportunity to meet him at the home of a devotee in a township called Dadar. The hosts mentioned my forthcoming marriage to Joshi Ji, saying “Please bless Aruna, who is going to be wed soon”.  I could not hold back the tears in my eyes, upon seeing which Joshi ji responded, “Dear daughter, I hear you are getting married. This is a happy occasion, so why are you crying?”.  My answer came, “The boy is from a Non-Nirankari family”. Hearing this Joshi ji laughed, adding, “What do you mean by Non-Nirankari? Is it that this boy and his family are out of the boundary of the All- pervading Formless Nirankar?”. I meekly submitted, “There is nothing outside of Nirankar. The entire creation is in Nirankar”. Hearing this Joshi ji added, “Then, dear child, don’t you think the term Non-Nirankari is baseless and irrelevant?” Joshi ji’s advice reaffirmed what I had been advised by my brother. It was as if Babaji himself had come to guide me.

Finally, the marriage took place on 12^th May 1992. At an opportune moment, my father handed over a piece of paper to my husband with the addresses of Centres for Oneness in the Mumbai area, together with details as to when Oneness Satsangs took place. As promised, my husband dutifully took me to the Satsangs. At times, I would return tired from my work at the office, only to see a pile of housework ahead of me. I would tell my husband, let us skip the congregation today. He would reply, “We can do the housework together later, and if need be also eat-out.  I don’t wish for you to miss the Satsang”. He would take me for worship, even though he would stand outside waiting for me until ceremonies had concluded. This went on for 2 weeks. Once, on our way back to home from the Satsang, he said, “Standing outside the Oneness Gathering, I hear the speakers and singers who keep talking about ‘Gyan’. What is this Gyan?”. I was pleasantly surprised by his question, and the fact that whilst he had never taken a seat, he was listening just aswell as anyone else. Fearing that I may not be able to explain to him the meaning of Gyan, or the questions that may follow in respect of the philosophy of the Mission, I was evasive in response, saying, “Let’s talk about it at some other time.”

The very next day, we had a visit scheduled to my parent’s home. Incidentally, my elder brother happened to be at home. As a “Gyan Pracharak” (someone authorized by Babaji to share Gyan – the awareness of the all-pervading) I made my husband’s curiosity known to him. Speaking with my husband, my brother asked, “Do you wish to experience the all-pervading, almighty and formless? My husband replied, “Who would not? But is it really possible?” To this my brother said, “Yes – it is very much possible by the Grace of a contemporary Spiritual Master”. My husband received the blessing of Gyan that very evening. Overwhelmed by the revelation, he exclaimed, “Thank-you, for what I have experienced directly tonight confirms all that I have ever read or heard about the Divine!  What I had read about in the scriptures, I had longed to know”.

Incidentally, the much awaited news of Babaji’s tour to Mumbai was announced! The day Babaji was to arrive at Mumbai, both my husband and I were returning home from work by motorcycle. To my surprise, I saw Volunteers queued up near Sion railway station and was sure that Babaji would pass this way. I requested my husband to stop the vehicle, so that we may wait at the roadside for Babaji’s ‘Darshan’ (a glimpse of our Guru). Within a couple of minutes, the convoy arrived and slowed down. I was ecstatic and desperately tried to figure out in which vehicle Babaji was seated so that I could see him. Just then, Babaji rolled down his car’s window and waved to both of us, smiling. I too waved back, jumping with sheer joy. It was the first time my husband witnessed the euphoric scenes that have always greeted the arrival of HH. Speaking excitedly my husband said, “Babaji was waving to you. Does he know you personally?”. Tears rolled down from my eyes, and I said, “Yes, he knows you too. He knows everybody. He knows everything”. Thank You Babaji.

– Aruna Yadhav, Mumbai, India

There is a fundamental difference between knowing and understanding.

If you have not experienced yourself, how can you appreciate the experience of another?

…there is unchallenged hatred imbedded in our psyche for other religions, which I was taught as a child.

Once a disciple asked his Master, ‘what is real’? The Master said, ‘that is real which never changes’. This is an important answer. We can all agree that everything we can see and touch, changes. The only thing that can never change is that which notices the change. This is to be realised, and this realisation and experience is the reality itself! 

Once a philosopher said, ‘we cannot live in a world that is not our own’. A world interpreted for us by others is not our home. Part of the journey is to use our own listening and see our own light. At the Oneness Gatherings, the most common utterance we hear is‘formless’. How can we view this formless? What concept can we build around it? As His Holiness Satguru Babaji once said, ‘drop the words; catch the meaning’. When we catch the words and not the meaning, we make a lot of mistakes. My own experience in the past, where I caught the words and not the meaning, is a painful one. 

I used to go to Church every-day and I read the Bible on a daily basis too. Once, my sister fell in love with a Nigerian – a man from another caste – which was traditionally forbidden. My father and I did not approve and we rejected her. My sister often looked up to me, as I was the eldest brother, and seen to be very religious. This is because I went to Church every day and I read the Bible every day. She was totally dependent on me to save her, but I completely let her down. When the time came, and I was put to the test as a man who claims to stand for boundless God, I was not able to put my narrow-minded attitude away. I took my father’s side and his perspective. All this was only because I took Scriptural knowledge from a limited perspective. This All-pervading knows how to give us a reality check! 

The years of Scriptural knowledge did not amount to God knowledge, but just turned to man knowledge, which offers brutish discrimination. Bookish knowledge is not the same as Sacred knowledge. How can any man learn to swim by reading a swimming manual? We learn by having a swimming instructor nearby, who can tell us as well as show us how to swim. We have to be in the water, to develop our experience.

Just so, we have to see with our own inner eye. We have to feel the Sacred. It has to be our own experience. Otherwise, we are subject to errors alone. At this moment in time, I cannot tell my sister anything about God because of my previous inhumane behaviour. What possibly can be said about God when the actions of a man are far from being kind? 

When we pray and meditate, what exactly are we meditating on? The question should not only be what we are meditating on, but who or what is meditating? Who is praying? When we say formless, are we only talking about the outside air? Where is prayer coming from and how can we identify with it? As you are reading this, who is listening to the voice in your mind? Is it the body that is listening, if it is the body then who knows it is the body that is listening? Is it the mind, if it’s the mind then who knows, it is the mind? Do not speak because of what others have said or what you have read. Only speak of your experience! Experience the abode of the Living God, the one you are searching for. God lives in the heart of man. It has no name, no form, no content, but it is not empty; it is full. 

When I first walked into the Centre for Oneness, I did not know anything about the Oneness Gatherings (Satsangs). I only knew about meditation. When I walked into the reception area, a man pointed to Babaji’s photo and said, ‘he knows how to help people drop their egos’. At that moment I dismissed what he said, thinking to myself I didn’t have any ego. Then when I attended the Oneness Gatherings, I realised the meaning of dropping the ego. I have not stopped attending since. Ego is so sutble and it can easily creep into the mind. 

Before attending the Centre for Oneness, I visited Africa. I used to say to my friends, you have to see God in everything. God has to be seen in a dog, cat and a tree. But I didn’t know how to see God in a dog. The dog I was looking at in Africa happened to be a very ugly one! But I knew in my heart I have to see God even in an ugly dog, because it is God who is beautiful when everything else loses its own separate beauty. What we are looking for is not far. God is near at hand. This is something we all know, even a 3-year old can say this, but very few understand what it means. There is a fundamental difference between knowing and understanding. Just as you know God is in a dog, cat and tree, but to understand what that means is entirely different. 

When I attended the sessions at the Centre for Oneness, I was reminded that if I wanted to go further, I simply had to ask. One month went by and I thought, “Ok, I will ask to know God”. I also made the decision that if I didn’t like what I saw, I would just walk away, not being bound to any particular place. Then the moment came of receiving the Gyan, “you are This’. All of a sudden, all the things prior to that were things I thought I knew, but I did not understand. There needs to be total clarity in understanding that you are one with everyone. Not just saying it, but truly understanding what it means. If you have not experienced yourself, how can you appreciate the experience of another? It is not just words, but being. 

This is what I have experienced at the Centre for Oneness. I have come, attended and experienced. In Christianity, there is the holy trinity, which represents ‘know, experience and be’. I am so grateful that I have found you, or did you find me! I am immensely grateful to live life without strife or trouble, and to truly see everyone as one with humility in the heart. Every religion teaches the same and we can all agree, but under the surface layer of the mind there is unchallenged hatred imbedded in our psyche for other religions, which I was taught as a child. The thought of being pure consciousness, without the other, is an entirely different matter. 

The Centre for Oneness has eradicated my outspoken anger and life-long, self-imposed hatred for other classes, races and nationalities. To erase the hatred of the other and to completely go beyond the idea of the other is to embrace oneness, which is freedom. Each soul has a choice to make – to go towards divinity or towards doubt. Which one we take determines our life experience. 

-Albert Winners, Birmingham UK