Forgiveness

Last updated on:
November 4, 2023

Why are we talking about forgiveness – forgiveness of ourselves and others?

Speaking from my own experience, when I became conscious (or woke up, if you like), I became incredibly aware. It was as if the covers had been lifted from my eyes and then HD technicolor and wrap-around stereo sound were thrown in on top. There was also a period (seemingly unending) when I became super-aware of not only my own shortcomings, which had now been claimed and named, but also everyone else’s as well. Like hundreds of tiny reflective mirrors and echoes, I was noticing everything in a state of total awareness.

I could never un-know or un-see any of this stuff from now on in. Furthermore, I was advised to accept everything – exactly as it was – not trying to change anyone or anything else, apart from myself of course. I was to stay calm and accept myself exactly as I’d been, how I had become, and even how I still was. Added to this acceptance, I had to be prepared to forgive myself and forgive others. There are surely many ways to approach forgiveness of self and others, but one approach I would like to share is this:

Fear binds the world; forgiveness sets it free.

This quote is the subtitle for the chapter Forgiving the Past in Life Loves You, by Louise Hay and Robert Holden. In this chapter, the writers discuss why some people cannot hear or will not accept that they are loved by life. Louise explains that some people will not believe these words because of guilt.

Guilt is described as a loss of innocence. It is what we experience when we have forgotten the basic truth – that we are eminently and inherently loveable. When we lose sight of this, our feelings of unworthiness cause us to feel unlovable, and we often behave in unloving ways towards others.

Louise explains that her most important work has been to help people to heal guilt. She writes, feeling guilty about what you did, or what someone did to you, does not make the past go away. Guilt does not make the past better. When you feel guilt or believe that you are unworthy, you should take it as a sign that you need to heal…

She tells us that this healing is done through Forgiveness. She explains that, until you love your inner child, you will have no idea of how loveable you are, and that you will not see how much life loves you. To the question from Robert, how do we love the inner child, Louise replies, the same way you love your adult self…by ceasing all self-judgment.

She goes on to tell us, loving the inner child is about forgiving ourselves for our loss of innocence and loss of goodness. The truth is we all did the best we could with what we knew at every stage of our childhood. And yet, we may still be judging ourselves and punishing ourselves for not having done it better, for making mistakes, for abandoning ourselves, for upsetting others and for not being a good enough boy or girl. Until we forgive ourselves, we will be trapped in a prison of righteous resentment. Forgiveness is the only way out of this prison. Forgiveness sets you free.

Unsurprisingly, Louise Hay recommends a mirror work meditation, which I share below: Sitting in front of a mirror, place your hands over your heart. Take a deep breath. See yourself through the eyes of love, and speak to yourself with love: