DETRACTOR - A FRIEND TOO

To criticize or malign others is a part of human nature. Whenever two persons get together, they must slander another during their gossip, wittingly or unwittingly. People find a special kind of pleasure in defaming, speaking ill of others, in their absence. And the one who gets into this habit, he would exaggerate things based on hearsay and circulate the same as widely as possible. Such people thoroughly enjoy slandering and defaming others. It becomes their hobby to malign others for their shortcomings or faults, whether true or baseless.

The most amusing part of the conduct of such persons is that they denigrate only those who are quite close to them; they find fault with their own people only. Even otherwise, we are generally cautious about those who avoid us, those who would like to keep distance from us. We are let down by our own near and dear ones only. History of criminology testifies that most of the murders were committed by those who had close relations with their victims. On this, a man of wisdom says: " Don't ask what will happen if a cat crosses your way, don't worry about the bad omen; guard yourself against those who accompany you."

The irony is that those who find fault with others or malign them consider themselves to be above board while others, in their view, are wrong and dishonest. If you question them, they would flare up and say, "Those who are considered honest by the world, we know, they are quite different inwardly; we shall unmask them, we shall expose them." Some of these people may know our shortcomings, may be familiar with our mistakes, but find it difficult to express their disapproval or hatred, simply because they lack courage or dare not face us; or they may avoid speaking against us so that they appear to be indifferent, unconcerned. They would, however, relish exposing us as a measure of amusement and laughing at us in their gossip sessions.

In view of the aforesaid, we must admit that the inclination to criticize or malign others is present in some measure or the other in the temperament of every human being; and it is also a fact that none of us would  tolerate others speaking ill of us. It is, therefore, imperative to evaluate our own reaction to statements being made against us, to criticise us. In this regard, our task can be easy if we base our self-assessment on the following questions:-

— Don't we feel mentally disturbed to hear criticism against us?

— Don't we feel worried or upset about it?

— Don't we lose temper?

--- Don't we feel revengeful against our detractors?

---  Instead of changing ourselves and removing our shortcomings, don't we try to silence our critics one way or the other, so that we don't have to worry, there is no hurdle in our way and we continue to be viewed as gentlemen by people?

 If this is so, we must admit that our thinking, our approach is not moving in the right direction.

Let us first understand that to ridicule others is a bad habit. A person who speaks ill of others or maligns others, is not considered to be a gentleman. So, as far as possible, we must avoid this evil. At the same time, we must do some introspection regularly. We must overcome our weaknesses and not allow them to raise their head or surface again, so that our critics do not get anymore chance to speak against us. Moreover, we should not use harsh words against our critics, carry no feeling of hatred against them in our heart, and have no spirit of vengeance against them, because they only do their duty by making us conscious of our drawbacks and shortcomings. We must, therefore, treat our detractors as our well-wishers, our friends. We must co-operate with them, assist them. We must give them opportunities to know that we too are their well-wishers. Sometimes they may realize the feebleness of their remarks and give in simply because they can not face the reality. It means we can easily remove the misunderstanding by mutual conversation, avoiding tension.

In short, with purity of our thoughts, we can change our mental attitude. We must be strong in our determination and hold good opinion about those who spread bad impression about us. We must endeavour for their betterment and of our own. We must make use of the bounties of Nature, the instincts bestowed by the Almighty, for inner peace. We must keep our mind united with God and feel happy all the time, having nothing to worry about others finding fault with our conduct. We must not vacillate from our noble aim. We must continue to march on the path of humanity with full sense of dedication. If not more, we should at least give up maligning others under all circumstances. We must remember the meaningful words of a great philosopher that the one who points out our deficiencies is our friend indeed'.