Anger,
more or less, exists in every human being. Its outburst is rather sudden, but it would
like to take no time while receding either. If somebody shows disrespect to us, we won't
hesitate to insult him too. If someone calls us names, we would love to use worse in his
honour. In such cases we hold the persons, who want to humiliate us or call us names,
responsible for our anger and thus feel relaxed even though the former may have some or
the other compulsion of his own. When we show anger, we receive anger in return and the
vicious exchange takes the form of a cycle that goes on.
Many
a time, our pen may stop writing; its ink may run out suddenly. We feel so angry that we
doom it and sometimes utter some abuses too. Then, suppose it is raining and we are unable
to open the door for one reason or the other and fail to enter the room quickly. We lose
temper. We are so enraged that we kick the door and curse it in abusive language.
Similarly, while walking on the road, we may hit a stone. Immediately we begin to call it
names. And the most amusing aspect remains that for the reason of our anger we deem it fit
to pass on the buck to the pen, the door and the stone. At times we may lose temper on
someone even while sitting alone; and we find our fists clinched, teeth clenched and eyes bloodshot automatically. Interestingly, the person against whom our
outrage is directed is not present, not aware at all. Sometimes, we feel annoyed against
someone in the office or at the shop, but we fail to express our feeling spontaneously
because we may be under some compulsion or the other. We may, however, give vent to this
suppressed anger, when we are back home. We may lose temper on our life partner on small
excuses like less or more salt or chilies in the vegetable preparation. And the poor lady
of the house may also consider it appropriate to control her anger for the time being, but
burst out over her son the next day on a small excuse of a missing button from the shirt
or some stitches from the knickers. And the loving son may cool his ire with sobs and
cries only. In short, it means that the anger has nothing to do with the persons it is
directed against; it is directly related with the personal state of the one who is
overwhelmed with it.
While
angry, sometimes, we pretend to be civilized and cultured and try to suppress our anger,
restrain ourselves. A shopkeeper may wear a false smile on his face in his endeavour to
put up with some unethical and improper remark of a customer. In a similar fashion, a
subordinate may tolerate the most sarcastic and pungent remarks of his officer. Similarly,
the son may often avoid answering the father's wrath in the same tone, in the same
language. The wife too, many a time, may choose to remain quiet when the husband is angry.
Our restraint in such cases is, however, the result of some compulsion or the other on our own part, although it is insignificant whether we
suppress our anger or express it. For, anger becomes an integral part of our conduct if we
continue to get opportunities to express the same. Anger becomes a habit with us and we
lose temper on every small thing. A stage arrives when we begin to pick up quarrels even
in dreams and unleash our anger on others. As a result, we begin to grow physically weak;
our life becomes unpleasant, ridiculous.
On
the other hand if we act with restraint and suppress our anger, it generates an energy, a
powerful emotion that may integrate itself with the functioning of our organic system and
affect any of the parts of the body. It may even disturb some organ and cause aggravation.
No energy finds outlet or gets finished by itself. What is important, therefore, is its
use. It must essentially be spent or utilized. If not used or spent, it may interfere with
the functioning of our body and damage its regular system, before it is exhausted. When
this energy gets accumulated as a result of the suppression of anger repeatedly, we feel
so angry that we would like to clash with others. It means that whether we suppress our
anger or express it, it is injurious for health. Rather it may be more harmful to suppress
the feeling of anger than to discharge it.
Life
has only two points of view - either constructive or destructive. There are only two
attitudes of life, ways to follow - either negative or positive. We can, therefore, use
our instincts, our innate powers both for destruction and
development. In case, we suppress our anger, it means the use in negative; we are not
using the energy for positive purposes. It means, if we are worried, it is due to our own
impulses and emotions.
Anger
by itself is not always bad. Anger is a fast moving wave, a forceful emotion, a powerful
feeling. When we are overwhelmed by anger, we are filled by enormous energy. In anger, we
may knock down even a person healthier and stronger than ourselves. Under the influence of
anger we may accomplish easily something that
we find ordinarily impossible. Scientists have already established that a person in anger
may accomplish something in one minute, which he ordinarily cannot finish in a shift of
nine hours. In this way, anger is a power, an energy. And power or energy is not a curse
at all. Bad is only its negative or destructive use. What we require is only to canalize
our anger and put it to some constructive use. Here is a powerful energy in our body that
calls for a profitable use.
If
a subordinate does not obey us in the office, the reason may be our own inefficiency. If
the child does not change its behaviour despite our repeated warnings, the reason may lie
in our own lack of care towards him; our own failure to provide proper lead to him. Or it
may be the result of our depriving the child of our love, which is normally his due. In
these circumstances, instead of being angry with the subordinate or shouting at the child,
we should improve our own ability, our own efficiency, or provide proper care and guidance
to the child and give him proper love. In this way we shall be
making constructive and positive use of our energy. The power generated by our anger will
stand used for constructive and not for destructive purposes. It will stand transformed
from negative into positive power. For this, however, we must not overlook our own
weaknesses; we must ponder a while so that we may choose the positive path.
We
all know that a little jogging or exercise is a source of leisure or relaxation. But we do
not apply our mind to understand as to why it is so. In case, we think over it for a
while, we shall certainly arrive at the conclusion that a little walk or exercise causes
the release of certain powerful emotions that were lying suppressed hitherto. In view of
this we can certainly make use of the energy of anger for making certain parts of our body
healthier and more handsome. If we clinch our fists or shrink our feet as strongly as
possible and then release the same suddenly, we experience a kind of spontaneous relief
and relaxation. In case we repeat the same regularly, our hands or feet may become
stronger and more attractive. The method can be applied to other parts of the body as
well.
As
we go on utilizing the power of our anger, we find it more and more helpful to give life a
constructive outlook, a positive angle. We
are face to face with our vices or weaknesses, which we try to avoid. Instead, we feel
inclined towards good deeds that make us relaxed, happy. And we do not have to search for
opportunities for such deeds; they are there in life at every step. What we need is only
to give up insisting that it is none ofour responsibility or we
are not concerned. Then, we'll feel happy to wipe off the tears of a child weeping on the
roadside, and obliging him with a piece of toffee. We will feel satisfied to remove a
stone that is likely to hurt the wayfarers. We may be simply thrilled by helping the
needy. Such small gestures or acts of kindness bring a peculiar kind of solace, a strange
kind of joy, an unprecedented bliss. And in the quest of this solace, one develops a habit
of showing such small fine gestures. In this way, our attitude itself becomes
constructive. The negative instincts automatically grow weaker and weaker. A regular
experience of this kind fills our life with solace and bliss. And gradually we arrive at
such a mental stage, where we start realizing that our own entity too is the creation of
some Power. We start seeing the manifestation of that Power in different creatures in
different ways at different times. And this is the stage where the destructive aspect of
our anger stands transformed and we are eager to align with the Power that is
boundless and all-pervading.